Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Quotes
Season 23, Episode 10: "Politically Inept, With Homer Simpson"
Apu: The hot dogs spin counter clockwise in fear when you arrive.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 12: "Homer The Father"
Apu: Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left your nuclear power plant ID in the birthday card rack.
Homer: I can't lose that, it's the best picture I have.
Apu: I am more concerned with global terrorism. America's enemies would give anything for your nuclear knowledge.
Homer: Yeah. I do know a lot about nuclears.
Apu: And America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods, undesirable immigrants, by which I mean everyone that came after me, including my children.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 21: "Moe Letter Blues"
Apu: See this? I'm playing the world's smallest sitar for you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Apu: You have so much in common with them. Non-stop chatter during drive-time.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 21, Episode 8: "O Brother, Where Bart Thou?"
Apu: Lisa, how do you like sharing a bathroom with two brothers?
Lisa: Two brothers? Bart, who is this kid?
Bart: He's an orphan, he's like Annie except he's a dude and he hates tomorrow.
Charlie: I hate it so much.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 4: "Treehouse of Horror XX"
Marge: I can't kill her, she's Lisa's god mother
Apu: You can apologize in hell
Marge: I guess I could!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lisa: Apu, how did you survie?
Apu: Well, as a vegetarian, I did not consume any tainted meat and as a convenience store owner, I am armed to the teeth
• Rating: Unrated
Season 20, Episode 9: "Lisa the Drama Queen"
Lisa: I need some candy for our first playdate, but I don't want to come on too strong.
Bart: M&M's?
Lisa: Well, if I pick plain she'll think I'm cheap, and if I pick peanut, she may have an allergy. You just killed her, Bart!
Bart: How about Charleston Chew?
Lisa: What is this, Brooklyn in the fifties? Don't just say stuff.
Bart: You asked for my help, then you don't want it.
Apu: Excuse me, but why not consider an Almond Joy? It looks like you only brought something for yourself, but then you just happen to have two pieces.
Lisa: Finally, a real suggestion!
Bart: If she doesn't like coconut, you're screwed!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 19: "Mona Leaves-a"
Homer: Apu, what do you think happens after you die?
Apu: Manjula will sell this store, dye her hair blonde and marry my cousin Jangelvar.
Manjula: Yes, I will!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 18, Episode 21: "24 Minutes"
(Apu sniffs some old yogurt that Homer tries to return at the Kwik-E-Mart.)
Apu: Oh my god! If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 64
