You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.

Homer

Homer: Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
Apu: You have been to our schools, what do you think?

For once the Indian has been outsourced.

Convenience forever, freshness never!

The hot dogs spin counter clockwise in fear when you arrive.

Apu: Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left your nuclear power plant ID in the birthday card rack.
Homer: I can't lose that, it's the best picture I have.
Apu: I am more concerned with global terrorism. America's enemies would give anything for your nuclear knowledge.
Homer: Yeah. I do know a lot about nuclears.
Apu: And America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods, undesirable immigrants, by which I mean everyone that came after me, including my children.

Oh my god! If a dead fish and a homeless person had a baby and the baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like the rear end of that dog!

</i> Apu

(to Skinner) It would be a shame if the next fire you fought was in hell!

Apu: Mr Burns, just jump into the net!
Mr. Burns: What's in it for me?
Moe: Just jump!

Apu: Are you suggesting we should steal?
Moe: Hey, it ain't stealing if you take it fast.

He was a good man. (He rips of Skinners leg and eats it) A good, moist man.

</i> Apu

(While playing Earthland Realms)
Apu: That Cobra King over there is actually Snake.
Snake: The prison guards think I'm getting my online law degree. Haw haw.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart