Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Barney: Barney Stinson is back on the market. Mothers, lock up your daughters. Daughters, lock up your MILSWANCA's.
Marshall: MILSWANCA's?
Ted: Oh wait, I can get this. Mothers I'd Like to Sleep With and Never Call Again
Barney: Correct, circle gets a square

He has got to go, you need to be like you are the weakest link goodbye! Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art, didn't work for me. You're times up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped! You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your desert just didn't measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen! You did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen.

Barney: Ted what is my one rule?
Ted: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Flax seed relieves upset stomach?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: New is always better!

Bro bro bro your broat, gently to the bar. Hit on some sluts then do 10 shots...

Ted: Barney I really have to grade these papers.
Barney: I'm sorry. I'll let you work...But first a riddle! What piece of women's attire stokes a man's desire?
Ted: A sundress.
Barney: Correct. What lightweight outfit pink or white makes the front of my slacks abnormally tight?
Ted: I really have to get this done.
Barney: Of course of course. Sundress by the way.

Hi, leg warehouse? Yeah, my friend Ted needs something to stand on... So, nothing for him to stand on? Ok, thanks so much

Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro - I'm Broda!

Bimbos make me happy. Bimbos make me feel alive. Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. This whole thing with Robin was just a fling, but at the end of the day, my heart belongs to bimbos

Barney: And for the love of god, boobs?
Ted: Solid C Cup perky bounce
Barney: Momentary grudging respect.

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney