Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Barney: Solid plan, my little friend.
Ted: We're the same height

Barney: Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.
Lily: You waited five minutes to tell me that?

Taxi driver: Actually, I'm from Bangladesh.
Barney: The women hot there?
Taxi driver: Here's a picture of my wife.
Barney [whispering]: A simple no would've sufficed

Ted: She didn't even give me the signal!
Barney: What, is she gonna bat her eyes at you in morse code? [bats eyes] Ted... kiss me. No! You just kiss her!
Ted: Not if you don't get the signal!
[Barney spontaneously kisses Marshall]
Barney: Did Marshall give me the signal?
Marshall: No! [to Lily] I didn't, I swear!

Barney [playing laser tag, on phone with Ted]: Hey, loser. How's not playing laser tag? Because playing laser tag is awesome! [kid fires at Barney as he runs by] Oh, I killed you, Conner! Don't make me get your mom!
Ted: Hey, listen, I need your help on something.
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up!

Narrator Ted: It was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl? I'm gonna marry her someday."
Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?
Barney: Oh yeeeahh, you just know she likes it dirty. Go say hi.

Ted: Hey.
Barney: Dude.. where's your suit? Just once, when I say "suit up" I wish you'd put on a suit.
Ted: I did, that one time.
Barney: It was a blazer

Barney: Lesson one, lose the goatee, it doesn't go with your suit.
Ted: I'm not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two, get a suit. Suits are cool, exhibit A. [points to his own suit] Lesson three, don't even think about getting married til you're thirty.

Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians

Displaying quotes 649 - 657 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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