Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Howard: Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf. Keep walking.

No, if I'm there alone, people might think I'm just a really short person from Avatar.

Uh oh, is someone a little blue?

Bernadette: I love that man.
Raj: Me too.

Bernadette's father: Here ya go.
Bernadette: Here ya go? What am I? A football?
Bernadette's father: Like that guy could catch a football.

Sheldon: I'll do it provided I can perform the service in Klingon.
Bernadette: No.
Sheldon: What do you see in her?

You lied to me. You said you told me about all the girls you've been with, but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj!

Raj: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I could walk from here.
Bernadette: You ain't goin' anywhere, Threeway.

Bernadette: I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.
Penny: Nice. You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowksi-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
Bernadette: Howard already took are of it. Plus he set up our beautiful wedding website with cute little facts about our family histories. Do you know for a while, in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors.
Penny: Aww, that's cool.
Amy: No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later.

Sheldon doesn't know when he's being mean because the part of his brain that should know is getting a wedgie from the rest of his brain

Bernadette: You're being mean to him.
Howard: He's mean to me all the time. You've heard him tease me about not having a doctorate.
Bernadette: If you don't want to get teased about that, get a doctorate. I have one; they're great.

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 86 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
×