Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Penny: It's kind of heavy
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.

Howard: Why don't I talk to him about it in May?
Bernadette: In May, you're gonna be on the International Space Station.
Howard: They got a phone.

And just to be safe, when you talk to him, don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners, foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn, Vatican II, gun control, organic food, the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.

Howard: I got pretty exciting NASA news today. Next week I fly to Houston for orientation and zero-gravity elimination drills.
Penny: What does that mean?
Bernadette: He's gonna to learn to poop in space.
Howard: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
Raj: Maybe your nickname should be "Brown Dynamite."

Bernadette: Who's Siri? Is he dating someone new?
Howard: Yes. His phone.
Bernadette: Is that cute? Or, creepy?

Bernadette: Boy, I don't know if I could be friends with Howie if we broke up.
Howard: Why not?
Bernadette: I'm a very vengeful person.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: With access to weaponized smallpox.

Sometimes Howard and I pretend that his arrhythmia is acting up and I'm his sexy cardiologist. And the naughty part is I'm not in his HMO network.

It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.

Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon.

I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.

Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

Howard: You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Stop talking, Howard.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 84 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

x Close Ad