The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSBernadette Quotes
If you like pushing buttons so much, try pushing them on the washing machine.
Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.
Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Howard: [pondering]
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?
$5,000 for a couple dolls. Are you out of your mind?
Bernadette: Well, what if Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer.
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy and he picks up a girl and then we all leave together. Did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?
Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, Boys.
Amy: When did Howard learn to sew?
Bernadette: When he was a little boy, every couple months, he'd have to let his mother's pants out.
Raj: I bought her a couple drinks and she gave me her email address.
Bernadette: "jennifer@notevenifyourethelastguyonearth.loser"
Howard: You see, I have to play Dungeons and Dragons ... for the marriage.
Bernadette: You're an idiot.
Howard: I'm your idiot.
Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?
Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.
Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?
