Billie Quotes
Billie: Why isn't the toilet where the hole is?
Zack: I don't want to get into complicated plumbing terms right now, but it turns out, I do not know how to install a toilet.
Billie: Well-- this is just it! I mean, there are boundaries! And not peeing on me is one of them, I think!
Olivia: So, you left halfway through your waxing, and now it looks like a seven?
Billie: Or, from my point of view, an L
Zack [about his ribs Billie stole]: They were only boiled. I hadn't even barbecued them yet.
Billie: Oh, I dipped them in some maple syrup and they were fantastic!
Sasha: I know you will say the exact right thing to make me feel better.
Billie: ... There, there.
Sasha: You are so wise
Davis: What's the next move with this girl?
Billie: Well, that depends. I mean, do we want to have a relationship with her or we're just looking to introduce our genitals to each other?
Davis: Ah, I've done the whole just-get-laid-casual-sex-never-see-each-other-again thing, so what I'm ready for now... is more of that
Abby: I have some amazing, unbelievable news that is going to blow you away.
Billie: Oh my God! Are you...?!
Abby: Yes! I'm Facebook friends with Olivia!
So... about my internet date, uhm, he's married. And on top of that, his wife is pregnant too, and we have the same doctor. And, I asked him to leave
Billie [to Abby on the phone]
Billie: What are you doing?
Zack: I'm having a date.
Billie: Dates happen outside the home.
Zack: When you have money
Abby: What about Zack? Are you at least gonna tell him you're going to start dating?
Billie: Of course.... Now, I am.
Olivia: Do it with your top off. I've delivered a lot of bad news that way
Olivia: [James] mailed you the box? Ohh, that is the work of a breakup master!
Billie: So I've heard. Why did I date the breakup master? Why can't I meet the relationship master?
Zack: The reason I didn't sleep with you... is because I had an orange penis.
Billie: Wow, I was imagining how you were going to finish what you're saying, but 'orange penis' is not where I was going
Billie: Do you have some sort of bugging device?
James: What are you talking about?
Billie: You wait until Brian starts talking to me, then you pop up like a zit on prom night
