Billie Quotes
You didn't call me before you tried to seduce [Zack] because you know that I think you should have a real relationship with him. You didn't want to hear that, so you called the bad idea lady [points to Olivia]
Abby [to Billie]
Billie: I'm thinking of sleeping with Zack. My brain says it's a bad idea, but it's being outvoted by every cell in my body. Is sleeping with him right now desperate or empowering?
Olivia: Is he passed out?
Billie: No.
Olivia: Empowering!
I don't know any other way to put this, but I have happy feelings in my downstairs area
Did you see that? There I was being flirted with by a handsome married man who's kind of my imaginary boyfriend and James totally booty-blocked me!
Davis [to Billie's breasts]: And good morning to you. And good morning to you.
Billie: I see you've noticed my recent pregnancy gift from the boob fairy.
Davis: That's such a better job than being the tooth fairy
Billie: I tossed [Zack's] room.
Abby: You did not!
Billie: Oh, but I did. I tossed it like a prison guard looking for crack
Billie: Are people staring at me because I just broke up with the boss and accidentally got impregnated by a 22-year-old on a futon? Or, and this is the one I want you to say, because my hair turned out all bouncy and fun?
Olivia: Actually, people are staring 'cause you've got a great big hunk of cream cheese on your boob
I have to think of my future. I want a husband one day. One with a checking account and... a toothbrush he acquired via purchase rather than "dibs."
Zack: You said you were thirty-two.
Billie: That was when I thought I was never going to see you again
Abby: Didn't you use condoms?
Billie: I guess it turns out they're not 100% effective unless you actually take them out of your purse.
Olivia: Billie, Billie, Billie, always use a condom... and an alias
Abby: I mean, look how happy I am since I married Nick. And you know why? Because he is stable, well-balanced, supportive.
Billie: Yes! Nick would make a good chair
Zack: You know, I bet my buds I could go a whole day eating and drinking only things that end in 'tos.' Mojitos, burritos, taquitos.
Billie: I did that once, but with things that end in 'oni.' Pepperoni, spumoni, calzone. But there wasn't a bet involved. My sorority was just full of bulimics
