Dan: Blair, we need to talk. Mind if I take over from here?
Simon Doonan: Not at all.
Blair: Well I mind. Humphreys are not escort material.

Forget what your mother wants, Charlie. It's your life. What do you want?

Charlie: I feel a little like Alice in Wonderland.
Blair: Manhattan will do that to a girl. You'll be happy to know, it never wears off.

Blair: Excuse me. I'm Blair Waldorf. Where should I report for hair and makeup?
Joanna: Oh. I was told you wouldn't be participating.
Blair: And now you're being told differently. Keep up.

Blair: Mention that name and you'll be exiled and forced to work in someplace terrible. Like the Upper West Side! And you know what happens to housekeepers there.
Dorota: Zabar Zombies.

Blair: I can't face the press if I've just heard unsettling news. I need to look like Grace Kelly, not Grace Cottington.
Dan: I have to manage some business of my own, but go do your interview. I'll meet you back at your apartment.
Blair: That is much more civilized. Unlike your hair, Humphrey. You look like a muppet.

The results of this test could alter the course of my life. You want me to face that in front of pigeons and street vendors?

You're back! I thought I'd lost you to the land of pole-dancing classes and gluten-free foods.

Blair: Go away! I'm preparing for my interview with Hello magazine.
Dorota: But doctor office call again. They have test results.
Blair: Hang up or I'll tell the reporter you're undocumented.

Blair: What if i lose everything?
Dan: You'll still have me.

Dorota: Saltines only thing I eat for months with Ana.
Blair: It's not the same. Your people were bred to work through these conditions and give birth in a field.
Dorota: No fields in Krakow. And I have birthing suite in Lenox Hill.

Dorota: You are pregnant, too! We are like sisters now!
Blair: [glares]
Dorota: ... Cousins.
Blair: [glares]
Dorota: Distant cousins.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.