Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Holy banjo, check out boob mountain.

Bobby: Well come on Mando, you're married Ellie. You're a seasoned crazy bitch whisperer. No offense.
Laurie: You know, he once bitch whispered me down from choking out a lady from using the handicap stall. Turns out she was handicapped, but, like, barely.

Man, it's like watching your kid die in battle.

Bobby's AA Sponsor: You're drinking?
Bobby: Well it is four.

Jules: Do her nipples look like mine?
Grayson: No.
Bobby: Yeah.
Bobby: Well, I got a hold of them before Trav did.

Bobby: Hey Bud, can we talk about Laurie?
Travis: You know I really like her, huh?
Bobby: Yeah, I could tell by the way you stare at her breasts. Different from the way you stare at other breasts, more respectful.

Bobby: I feel like I'm cheating on Andy.
Travis: I'm your son so it's okay.

Andy: Ellie's just jealous because she thinks I care more about you than her.
Bobby: Do you?
Andy: Yes, it's not even close.

You can't break up a fight with your shirt on!

Bobby: I don't get this timezone crap. How can it be one time here and then another time at home. This isn't Star Trek.
Ellie: I wonder what you're doing in Florida right now.

Ugh, captain's patch has still got a little sand in it from my sea shower.

Just remember. You can't hear the world laughing at you if you're laughing harder.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 66 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

To sweaty foot wine!

Jules

John Hughes is a God.

Title Card
x Close Ad