Favorite Bree Hodge Quotes
No, I can't kill you today. I have Pilates.
Bree: Hello. My name is Bree Van de Kamp and I'd like to admit myself for psychiatric observation.
Receptionist: All right, what seems to be the problem?
Bree: I think I'm about to have a nervous breakdown.
Orson! How are corn nuts urgent?
Bree: We can't do this. It's adultery!
Karl: Luckily we're both adults.
Have you ever taken the bus at 1 o'clock in the morning, Renee? It makes you stop believing in God.
You're here. You're queer, and I'm used to it.
Bree: Perception is reality, Andrew. And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem, then I do. And I certainly don't want some idiotic judge using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich. So I'm simply going to give up my wine and become a recovering alcoholic.
Andrew: Good plan, but it'll never work. See, I'll bet you still end up coming to court hammered.
Bree: Oh, Andrew, you don't think I love you enough to give up alcohol?
Andrew: Look, I'm seventeen, all right? So, you can only keep me here for another year. Why not just let me go?
Bree: Because I'm not done with you yet. It's my job to teach you and you are not half the man I know you can be.
Andrew: Yeah, well, I got news for you. This is as good as I'm gonna get.
Bree: If I really thought that, I'd get a gun right now and kill us both.
Karl: You're supposed to be catering a wedding.
Bree: Yes, clearly this is my fault. (the woman raises up) Courtney?
Courtney: I'm so sorry, Bree.
Bree: Really, Karl, my yoga instructor?
Courtney: No charge for next month, okay?
Bree: Like I'm keeping you! Get the hell out of my house.
Karl: She... she's going.
Bree: I'm not talking to her!
Bree: If I'm gonna break a commandment, I don't want it to be for a quickie on this couch.
Karl: Who said quickie? I've got 40 minutes before my 10 o'clock. And thou shalt get sweaty.
Good friends offer to help in a crisis; great friends don't take no for an answer
Rex: I can't believe you tried to kill me.
Bree: Yes, well, I feel badly about that
Bree: Honey, do your hands still tremble when they touch me?
Rex: No. But come on, we've been married eighteen years.
Bree: Yes we have. And you still don't know when I need you to lie
