Popular Bree Hodge Quotes
Andrew: Knew what? Well come on, tell me! Because I'd love to know what my father did that was so awful!
Bree: Fine. I will see him through this, but after that, your father can rot in hell for all I care!
Danielle: We're not like other families, are we?
Andrew: No. We're not
Rex: Look at you... going out?
Bree: Not that it's any of your business, but I have a date.
Rex: A date... what kind of date?
Bree: Rex, I don't want to say anything that might upset you. The doctor said any more stress could cause another heart attack... It's a romantic date with a single, attractive man and I intend to French the hell out of him
George: He cheated on you. You said you were going to hate him forever.
Bree: You shouldn't listen to a woman who's just had her heart broken. We tend to lie
It was my first week in college, and I went to a meeting of the Young Republicans, where Rex gave a speech and I went up to him afterward and introduced myself and told him that I agreed with his stance on the death penalty, and he took me out to a diner and, uh, we stayed up until 2 in the morning talking about big government, gun control and illegal immigration. (sighs) It was just... it was just such a magical night
Rex: Hey!
Bree: I'm not speaking to you.
Rex: Didn't like the settlement talks, huh?
Bree: You only demanded the good china because you know I love it.
Rex: You take our timeshare in Aspen, and I'm vindictive? Come on! You'll hardly ever use that place!
Bree: Hardly? How about never!
Rex: I mean, fine. When I move out, I'm going to use your good china for take out food. Yeah. Pizza, spare ribs...
Bree: You know what? At our next settlement talks, I plan on asking for your golf clubs!
Rex: Isn't divorce fun?
Rex: What do you say Bree, do we send the vultures home?
Bree: I want to keep the club membership. Rex is terrible at tennis and hates buffets
Dr. Goldfine: How could this reconciliation work if you can't be open to each other?
Bree: We're WASPs, Dr. Goldfine. Not acknowledging the elephant in the room is what we do best
Bree: Okay. So what's our control word?
Rex: Well, lately I've been using Philadelphia. What's wrong?
Bree: Well it's just that my Aunt Fern lives in Philadelphia and I don't want to be thinking about her while I'm spanking you with a leather strap.
Rex: Okay. Fine. You pick a control word.
Bree: Um, how about Boise?
Rex: Boise?
Bree: What's the matter with Boise?
Rex: We're going to be doing psychological role playing here, Bree, and a funny word like Boise would ruin the mood. We need something that sounds serious.
Bree: Hmm. How about Palestine?
Rex: Boise will be just fine
Rex: For gods sake, you promised to be supportive.
Bree: What do you want me to say? My husband likes to wear metal clamps around his nipples. Hooray?
Bree: Andrew is still a child.
Rex: He's sixteen. It's not unheard of.
Bree: Honey, you have to talk to him.
Rex: And tell him what?
Bree: Tell him that we found his condom and that he is forbidden from - you know.
Rex: I can absolutely tell him that we think he's too young, but I don't think it's gonna do any good.
Bree: Well, then the least we can do is go search his room and if we find any more of these, we'll confiscate them.
Rex: And that will accomplish what?
Bree: Well, if we take away his condoms, maybe...
Rex: He's a teenage boy. We could take away his penis. He'd still try to have sex
John: Mrs. Van De Kamp.
Bree: Hello, John. I'm sorry to drop by on you, unannounced. Do you have a moment?
John: Sure. So, what can I do for you?
Bree: Well, I'll tell you. My daughter is planning on giving you her virginity and I would consider it a personal favor if you wouldn't take it
Rex: Are we gonna talk about what I said?
Bree: If you think I'm gonna discuss the dissolution of my marriage in a place where the restrooms are labeled "Chicks" and "Dudes", you are out of your mind
