Joe is really pretty, but I heard she doesn't shave her armpits.

Quinn, you're still dancing in my dreams. And you can fly and breathe fire.

Sue: Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
Brittany: I can show you the MRI.

It tastes just like a chicken testicle.

Brittany [on a bull's testicle]

I came up with an idea that will make you Snooki famous, but not without all the blackout drinking.

I want Lord Tubbington to kicking his ecstasy addiction.

Santana: Brittany, lock the door.
Brittany: I don't know how to do that.

If elected, I'll have sugary treats available at all times. Helps with concentration. That's what George Washington said.

Stop the violence.

Rachel Berry is still on Myspace.

Brittany: Of course not.
Finn: You're not quitting New Directions?
Brittany: Oh, I thought you meant the Selena Gomez pregnancy rumors.

You cannot call your future president an "idiot." It's mean, it's bullying and I won't accept it.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.