Buster Bluth Quotes
Tobias: Wait, wait, wait. Lindsay's here? With two men?
Buster: Hmmm, sort of one and a half.
Buster: Mom's becoming a little controlling.
Michael: What tipped you off? When she locked you out on the balcony again?
Buster: That was half my fault. I thought I saw a graham cracker out there.
Michael: [to Lucille]You baited the balcony?
Lucille: Prove it.
(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.
(At boot camp)
Buster: I can't do it; I can't make my bed, and I can't do this, either... I'm sorry. Aren't you supposed to yell at me and call me "homo" and motivate me over this wall?
Sergeant Baker: We can't do that anymore. Lawsuit.
Buster: Are you guys planning a party?
Oscar: Yes. It's your father's birthday, which coincidentally is my birthday.
Buster: Because you're twins.
(in the trunk of the car) Mother, when you see this videotape, you will know that I left. Not out of cowardice, but out of -- (big yawn) Man, it's tired in here. (falls asleep)
Make love in your own hand, mother!
Lucille: (presenting Buster with a gift) A camcorder. That's so you can videotape it when they put you in a naked pyramid and point to your Charlie Browns.
Buster: I ought to point to Uncle Oscar's Charlie Browns next time you're on top of him, Mother.
Lucille: You see how he treats me just because he thinks I'm having an affair with the boy's uncle?
Buster: They're taking me in the army. They didn't think there was enough wrong with me.
Lucille: Well, did they check everything?
Buster: Yes! They even touched my Charlie Browns.
You lied to me, Mother. You told me I wasn't fit to serve!
Lucille: Yes, I have a rape horn, Michael. Because you took away my mace.
Buster: Like anyone would want to "R" her.
Michael: Mom, you're always asking me to help you look after Buster? You can find somebody else. I hope she doesn't kill you.
Buster: I'll kill her first!
