Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Cam: Hey we got a package from my dad!
Mitchell: No air holes in the box, that's a good sign.
Cam: Lily loved having that chicken.
Mitchell: One more time than she realized.

Cam: You wanna tell me how you accidentally gave someone your key?
Mitchell: You wanna tell me why you spent all day sipping tequila out of some guy's navel?
Cam: You saw that?
Mitchell: I guessed!

Oh my gosh, an actual gay agenda.

Cam: Do you feel what's happening here?
Mitchell: I feel pinching!
Cam: I'm the weak link in the super-group.

I had a choice to make. Be the better dancer or the bigger man. So I stepped off the dance floor and made the obvious call. You wanna win over a crowd? Invite a lonely mom to dance. She never saw it coming and neither did he.

You know what I say, I might be coach but I like to travel first class!

Her head sounds like pop rocks.

You win an Oscar. You buy a Golden Globe.

That's different, that was gossip and gossip belongs to everyone.

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