Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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I think I could be a little less Ryan Gosling, and a little more everyman.

Cam: Hey counselor, what do I have to do to get you to drop that suit?
Mitchell: Cam what are you doing here?
Cam: Surprising my hugs-band!

Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Half our guests are gay; we're finally giving them a good memory on a school bus.

Mitchell: Why don't we put Lily in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight?
Cam: She'll see right through that.
Mitchell: No you're thinking of Haley's shirts.

Calm down Claire, your voice is getting to that pitch that disturbs out cat.

Mitchell: I'm so nervous. Are we gonna say Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit? What do we say to Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit?
Cam: Oh my God, it's so big.
Mitchell: That's a bit direct but you know he might be flattered- oh you're talking about the boat.

Mitchell: What's happening?
Cam: I don't know Google him.
Mitchell: I didn't spring for an international data plan.

Cam: Hey we got a package from my dad!
Mitchell: No air holes in the box, that's a good sign.
Cam: Lily loved having that chicken.
Mitchell: One more time than she realized.

Cam: You wanna tell me how you accidentally gave someone your key?
Mitchell: You wanna tell me why you spent all day sipping tequila out of some guy's navel?
Cam: You saw that?
Mitchell: I guessed!

Oh my gosh, an actual gay agenda.

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