Carl Carlson Quotes
Season 23, Episode 1: "The Falcon and the D'Ohman"
Carl: What's what the new security guard? He's acting all aloof. By the way, that's my word now - "he's."
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 17: "Love Is A Many Strangled Thing"
Carl: I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't seem right to shoot one of his cousins.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 21, Episode 17: "American History X-Cellent"
Carl: Sir, your spare ribs, cooked just the way you like them.
Mr. Burns: Spare ribs eh? I've played around with ten pins a time or two in my life and, to me, the term spare reeks of second best. Give me ten full frames of strike ribs. [to Lenny]: And you, find my doctor and find out why I'd ask for something as insane as strike ribs.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 12: "Boy Meets Curl"
Lenny: Date night, it's the embalming fluid that keeps the mummy of a marriage fresh after the heart and brain have been pulled out through the nose.
Carl: I never should have given you that Egyptology book.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 11: "Million Dollar Maybe"
Carl: These cookies are on the up and up according to the only hoest newspaper, The Beijing Worker.
• Rating: Unrated
Carl: Something you lost will soon turn up. My faith in the Lord! It came back!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 10: "Once Upon a Time in Springfield"
Homer: That is the most amazing doughnut I've ever tasted
Mr. Burns: Well, if you stay on with the Springfield nuclear plant, you could have one of these tasty beauties every day.
Lenny [about doughnut]: One of these every day might kill us.
Carl: Can we get a health plan to go with them?
Mr. Burns: Sure, you could have a health care or.... two donuts a day.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 5: "The Devil Wears Nada"
Lenny: I'm gonna miss ted, he was a good supervisor
Carl: Definitely hands off. He didn't mind if we punched out late
Homer: And he didn't mind that we made a few changes to the soda machine...mmm... beer
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 19: "Mona Leaves-a"
Carl: Yeah, you should always make peace with your loved ones.
Lenny: I think I'll give my ma a call right now. (dials cell phone) Hey Mom, I just wanted you to know that you mean... Yeah, he's here... (looks disappointed, gives phone to Carl)
Carl: Hey, Mrs. L! Those butter cookies you sent, were tasty. And the almond ones, oh! (pause) Aw, I wish I was your son, too. All right, I'm gonna pass you back... Okay, okay, I'll tell him. (closes cell phone) Uh, Moe. Lenny's mom says, she loves you.
(Lenny makes disgusted noise)
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 12: "Love, Springfieldian Style"
Marge: Any minute now, he'll scamper through that doggy door.
Homer: Any minute now, I'll be the dog she's lookin' for.
Barney, Moe, Lenny, and Carl: Any minute now, you'll be stuck with her brood.
Patty and Selma: Any minute now, this pooch will know she's screwed.
Marge: My hearts tells me to trust him.
Patty and Selma: But your head knows he's a hound.
Homer: I want to do the right thing.
Moe: Come on! With all this high class tail around?
(Hooker Dog smokes a cigarette, coughs badly)
Fleas: Any minute now, our girl will make a brand new start.
Patty and Selma: Yes!
Marge: Any minute now, I won't care that broke my heart.
Marge and Homer: Annnny minnnute nooooow.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 35