Carl Carlson Quotes
Lenny(on piracy): That was so much better than the cinema. It mixes the wonder of movie-going with the rush of stealing.
Carl: All we want is brand new, big-budget entertainment in our homes for nothing. Why doesn't Hollywood get that?
Homer: Wait, you guys saw the new Radioactive man sequel?
Carl: Uh, it's not sequel,it's a reboot.
Lenny: Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a deboot.
- Permalink: Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a deboot.
Quimby: Don't you idiots see what this means.
Lenny: Idiots? Why do we re-elect this guy?
Carl: Because his opponent has a long Slavic name.
- Permalink: Because his opponent has a long Slavic name.
Moe: Read 'em and weep. The novels of Charlotte Bronte.
Carl: I thought we were playing cards.
- Permalink: I thought we were playing cards.
Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.
- Permalink: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's? It's not even noon. ...
What's what the new security guard? He's acting all aloof. By the way, that's my word now - "he's."
- Permalink: What's what the new security guard? He's acting all aloof. By ...
I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't seem right to shoot one of his cousins.
- Permalink: I can't do it. A balloon saved one of my arteries. It wouldn't...
Lenny: Homer, don't be so quick to abandon this paparazzo thing.
Carl: Yeah, it's the American tradition to cut people down to size because they're brought so much joy into our lives.
Lenny: You know who I can't stand? That Robin Williams. You know one time I saw him eating dinner with his children. He wouldn't take the time out to do all the funny bits from his movies.
Carl: And my sister once saw Burt Reynolds at an airport, and he wouldn't even cosign her mortgage.
Homer: You guys are right! I should get back into the game. (Moaning) Oh, but I threw away my camera!
Moe: Oh, here. (Hands Homer his camera) Use this one. I was gonna use it to take secret photos in the ladies' toilet, but no dames ever come in this joint.
Homer: Thanks, Moe. (Leaves the bar)
(Two pretty women enter)
Woman #1: Excuse me, do you have a ladies' room?
Woman #2: We need to trade bras and panties.
Moe: Oh! You gotta be kidding me! (Breaks a beer bottle horizontally with his hands.)
- Permalink: Homer, don't be so quick to abandon this paparazzo thing. Yeah...
Young Carl: I wish for world peace.
Young Barney: I wish for world war.
Young Carl: That would be cooler.
- Permalink: I wish for world peace. I wish for world war. That would be ...