Popular Chandler Bing Quotes
(About Rachel cutting up her credit cards) Ya know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
Rachel: Ya know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.
Chandler: If I can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Chandler: That is amazing.
Joey: What are you talking about? "One woman." That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Then stay out of my freezer.
All right, kids, I've got to get to work. If I don't input those numbers... Doesn't make much of a difference.
Monica: Paul, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Paul.
Joey: Hey, Paul, the wine guy.
Ross: Hey, Paul.
Phoebe: Hey, Paul.
Rachel: Hi, Paul.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. Paul, was it?
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?
Ross: You guys.
Chandler: Oh God.
Joey: You got screwed.
Monica: Relax, this is not even a date. It's not. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Chandler: All right, so I'm back in high school, standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I am totally naked.
Monica: Oh, I've had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone... there.
Joey: Instead of--
Chandler: That's right.
All: Never had that one.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: They weren't looking at you before?
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it. And it turns out it's my mother. Which is very, very weird because she never calls me.
Ross: I don't want to be single. Okay? I just want to be married again.
(Rachel enters the coffee shop wearing in a wedding dress)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars.
Monica: There's nothing to tell. Just some guy I work with.
Joey: Come on. You're going out with the guy. There got to be something wrong with him.
Chandler: Yeah... does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth, and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?
