It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Charlie Kelly Quotes
Mac: Once the sun goes down you're not gonna be able to get this woman to do anything, she thrives on sunlight.
Charlie: She looks like she's never seen sunlight.
Frank: You proposing to me?
Charlie: No. We're already friends, right? Let's be friends with benefits.
Frank: Charlie, you've got a lot of balls, stealing my money. This shows leadership, I am promoting you to management.
Charlie: That's why I did it.
Mac: That's why I did it too, Frank! I stole lots of your money, what do I get?
Frank: You get dick, because you are a follower and a thief.
Sweet Dee: How come Charlie...? It's not fair...
Dennis: Why would you do this to us, dad?
Frank: Because you're crackheads, children.
Charlie: This is America! You can't just come in here and steal our land from us!
Frenkel: I'm pretty sure that's how this country was founded in the first place!
Charlie: Ah, I mean I wish I could go back in time and do the right thing, you know?
Dee: Like be there for her?
Charlie: No get her an abortion.
Mrs. Mac: They ain't American, I don't want to know them.
Mrs. Kelly: I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert.
Mac: It does seem like they're bonding.
Charlie: It's not really a golden girls type conversation, it's a racist conversation
Mac: Let's order some food and then we can have the delivery guy come and get us out.
Charlie: And we'll get some Chinese food because that's the classiest pool side food you can have.
Mac: Yeah, we probably shouldn't get Chinese because those delivery guys are always Chinese and he's won't understand a word we say and plus he's gonna be too short.
Charlie: Could really go for some Chinese food, though. It's gonna be good.
Mac: But we're not actually eating the food.
Charlie: I'm gonna eat the food, for sure. I'm starving.
Mac: Let me handle it. We're gonna get some pizza. He's gonna be big Italian lug and he's gonna fish us out of here.
Mac: Fish sounds good. See if they have fish there.
Charlie: I'll ask.
Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work.
Mac and Charlie: WHOA!
Dennis: Whoa, what?
Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that!
Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say?
Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard "J" on us.
Boat Salesman: Let me just see if i have this right here. It seems like what you guys are looking for P. Diddy style of shrimping boat.
Charlie: You're a really good listener and I didn't peg you for one when we came in here because of the pinky ring.
Can we talk shrimp for a minute? I'd like the boat to be able to haul a tremendous amount of shrimp. Sort of a forest gump size of shrimp.
Charlie: Why are we hanging here?
Frank: Cool kids got us.
You're saying, like, do the things you do but go further with them. Like get a ton of cat hair and glue it all over your body. Walk around like a cat-man in the middle of the night through the alleyways. Ya know? ... And stop hiding the pigeon.
