It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Charlie Kelly Quotes
Barbara: While you were out making money, who do you think was at home, cooking and cleaning and raising your children?
Frank: A series of Mexican women.
Charlie: "A series..." Unbelievable, dude! [They high-five] You're on fire.
Dennis: Where from?
Frenkel: Israel. It just got to be too dangerous. I mean, you know with everything that's happening.
Dennis: Well, that's a tough situation you got over there.
Charlie: Oh yeah, you got that whole tsunami and the...
Mac: No, not that...
Charlie: Well, the superdome thing.
Mac: No, there's no superdome...
Charlie: Well it's one of those places over there.
Mac: It's a different country, Charlie so why don't...
Charlie: Well I'm just trying to help the guy out.
Mac: Why don't you just shut up!
Why don't you crack an egg of knowledge all over me, buddy.
Frank: Well, I didn't take anything.
Barbara: It's empty. Someone came in and took everything.
Frank: Maybe you should have somebody deported, like you used to, in the old days.
Charlie: Beautiful.
Barbara: You were talking about giving away all of our money.
Frank: My money. I made it, you spent it.
Charlie: Burn! There you go buddy.
Charlie: A grilled Charlie has peanut butter last!
Frank: Okay, you're either inside or outside?
Charlie: Peanut butter outside, chocolate inside. Butter inside, cheese outside.
(to Frank) Where are your balls, dude? Where are your balls?! Okay, you're a grown man. Think about your balls.
Can we... do you think we could make this look more like a cave?
Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work.
Mac and Charlie: WHOA!
Dennis: Whoa, what?
Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that!
Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say?
Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard "J" on us.
Charlie: Let's throw a flaming bag of poop in the window!
Mac: What? Why?
Charlie: They stamp it out, and they get poop all over their shoes!
Mac: What in the hell is that going to accomplish?
Charlie: Poop on their shoes. Their shoes, dude!
Charlie: This is America! You can't just come in here and steal our land from us!
Frenkel: I'm pretty sure that's how this country was founded in the first place!
Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.
