It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXCharlie Kelly Quotes
Boat Salesman: Let me just see if i have this right here. It seems like what you guys are looking for P. Diddy style of shrimping boat.
Charlie: You're a really good listener and I didn't peg you for one when we came in here because of the pinky ring.
Can we talk shrimp for a minute? I'd like the boat to be able to haul a tremendous amount of shrimp. Sort of a forest gump size of shrimp.
Charlie: Who washes the dishes?
Frank: Nobody washes the dishes! We eat the food directly off the coffee table and you know it!
You told me it was a phone bill. Of course, I signed it.
Charlie: We'd be two cool, straight dudes married together.
Frank: Oooh. Well, I never thought of it that way. Two dudes getting married, that doesn't seem very gay.
Frank: You proposing to me?
Charlie: No. We're already friends, right? Let's be friends with benefits.
Charlie: Did you send him a friend request?
Frank: I don't want to be his friend. I want to shoot him in the face!
Mac: Then we promise that we will come back with our butts filled.
Charlie: So filled! So filled for you!
Mac: Do you want to shove heroin into your ass?
Charlie: Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my ass!
Mac: All right! This is the perfect opportunity to prove how hard we are, and not have to shove anything up our asses!
Dee: Where is your breath?
Charlie: In my mouth?
Dee: No, no. It starts in your chest. You got to focus on your diaphragm.
Charlie: What the hell's a diaphragm?
You know what? Let me kick down a little thing to you that our founding fathers kicked down to me. It goes don't tread on me. And right now, you guy's are treading all over me!
Charlie: I am done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.
Dennis: Well, that's why we call it Charlie work.
