Family Guy

Chris Griffin Quotes

Rush Limbaugh: Limbaugh Rule #1: No tax dodging Jedis in my pit!
Chris: Religion is tax exempt! Jedi's a religion!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: A sister! Who is it?
Herbert: Who do you think it is? Who's the only goddamn woman in the galaxy?
Chris: Leia...
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Carter: If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed.
Chris: Oh yea? You and what lightning hands?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Aunt Carol, Mom says you'd make a great Florida whore, what does that mean?
Lois: Oh haha haha, Chris, I said that about Kate Hudson!
Stewie: You know, I always thought I'd make a great Florida whore.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lois: Chris, have you been drinking?
Chris: Yes, have you been aging?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Well high school is like Lord of the Flies. It's like a social experiment. And I hear Canadian high schools are even worse!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Meg: Chris, look at what you did!
Chris: You mean look at what two black teenagers did when they stole Dad's bike...
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Hey Meg! I'm going to jump that fire hydrant!
Meg: Chris don't! You're going to wreck Dad's bike!
Chris: Too late! I already narrowed my eyes!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chris: How do I know which one to shoot? How do I know which one's the real dad??
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?
 • Rating: Unrated

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!