Family Guy

Chris Griffin Quotes

Chris: I have an itch!
Meg: I don't care! Dead people don't scratch their balls!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Shut up, Meg!
Lois: Peter!
Chris: Dad!
Brian: You're back!
Meg: [dejectedly] Yay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I always knew one day this would happen.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: No! What just happened? What was that thing?
Peter: I don't know, some kind of superbird. Or maybe just an average bird who bought a Bowflex.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Hey Lois, let's go outside and see if we can find some great tits! 'Cause there certainly ain't any in here!
Chris: Remember those two we saw last night? One was bigger than the other!
 • Rating: Unrated

Meg: Now, here's my post office key. I need you to go downtown, and get the stuff from my P.O. box.
Chris: You don't get your mail here?
Meg: No. I get a lot of private correspondence from the Netherlands.
Chris: Like what?
Meg: Like, I'm part of a group that trashes Anne Frank's house every year.
 • Rating: Unrated

Meg: How about I won't tell Mom and Dad about the money if you promise to do what I say.
Chris: Meg, this is how a lot of porn starts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Meg: Well, well, well. Who do we have here?
Chris: It's me, Chris. You know me. Why are you talking like a bad guy?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Mom, Dad, I need to get new sneakers.
Lois: What? I just bought you new sneakers!
Chris: I know, but I need cooler ones!
Peter: Shut up and stop complaining. When I was your age, I didn't even have sneakers! We wore stale hamburger buns.
Lois: No you didn't, Peter.
Peter: Shh! He doesn't know that, he's just a dumb fat loser! Did you see his shoes?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: Oh, of all the years to be trim and well-hatted.
 • Rating: Unrated

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