Favorite Chris Traeger Quotes
Chris: You and I will embark in a quick session of heart-rate meditation, focusing on conscious breathing and opening the heart shakra.
Ron: I'm not sure I'm interested in that. No, I am sure, I'm not interested in that.
First stop, Motivation Station!
Due to a tragic misunderstanding, the prettiest pig beauty pageant has been replaced by a pork rib barbeque competition.
Sir, I formally retract my hug.
Chris: To Tom Haverford! Wooo!
Tom: And to my wife Rihanna! We truly did find love in a hopeless place.
Chris: Fresh lettuce is my all-time favorite food. What's your favorite food?
Andy: Oh, I take Skittles and I put it between two Starbursts. Know what I call it?
Chris: Skittle Sandwich?
Andy: ...That's pretty good. No, I call it Andy's Mouth Surprise. It's nice because the flavor of the Starbursts really bring out a similar flavor in the Skittles.
Chris: Ann Perkins you really know your testes!
Ann: ...thank you?
I don't know if you know this, but things with fat in them taste way better than things that don't!
Chris: I want to apologize to all the women and Jerry. If I could go back in time and cut your eyeballs out, I would.
April: Wow, that is so sweet.
Chris: Thank you.
I have run 10 miles a day, every day, for 18 years. That's 65 thousand miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.
Chris: Rethink our visual brand, take these words, and make something amazing!
Tom: So you're saying you want me to choose a new font?
Chris: Yes, essentially I'd like you to choose a new font.
Chris: Now how big is the park, exactly?
Leslie: It is .000003 square miles.
