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Parks-and-recreation

When I get bummed out I take my shirt off because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty.

I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.

Ann: How was your run?
Chris: Ended with a five-and-a-half-minute mile. My personal low. I think the pavement in this town is soft.

Ann: I don't think I should go out with you.
Chris: Can I ask you why not? Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And... you did use your tongue.

Ben: That's right, you were coming here tonight on a date. And hey, Leslie is joining you on this wonderfully romantic occasion. How about that?
Chris: Fantastic!

Leslie: Oh I have an idea. You know what would be really fun? After dinner we should take a walk by the pond in Ramset Park.
Chris: Walking the parks can be very romantic.
Leslie: Yeah too bad the parks are always closed though.

I know what'll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you're thinking. It's not that I want a massage; I'll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.

I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

Chris: I had a dream. That she came into this room. Stole all my flu medicine and told me not to tell you and disappeared through that hole in the wall.
Ann: The door?

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