I have a resting heart rate of 23 beats per minute. The scientists who study me say my heart can pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

I think you might find me attractive because you got drunk and kissed me when we first met.

I know what'll loosen up our brains. Massage train. And, I know what you're thinking. It's not that I want a massage; I'll be the caboose. And Ron Swanson is the locomotive.

Ann: I don't think I should go out with you.
Chris: Can I ask you why not? Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And... you did use your tongue.

Ben: That's right, you were coming here tonight on a date. And hey, Leslie is joining you on this wonderfully romantic occasion. How about that?
Chris: Fantastic!

Leslie: Oh I have an idea. You know what would be really fun? After dinner we should take a walk by the pond in Ramset Park.
Chris: Walking the parks can be very romantic.
Leslie: Yeah too bad the parks are always closed though.

Ann: How was your run?
Chris: Ended with a five-and-a-half-minute mile. My personal low. I think the pavement in this town is soft.

Chris: I had a dream. That she came into this room. Stole all my flu medicine and told me not to tell you and disappeared through that hole in the wall.
Ann: The door?

Ben: You need a ride back to the office?
Chris: No, no. I'm going to go for a light 15K. I missed yesterday.

Ron: So, you love April and she has a new boyfriend, right?
Andy: You got all of that from a picture?
Chris: No, you told me yesterday.

I'd like you to get me some more post-its. I'd like them in multiple colors. I'd like green. I'd like yellow. Do not buy orange. I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.

I have run 10 miles a day, every day, for 18 years. That's 65 thousand miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April