I don't want to be overdramatic, but this is literally a battle for April's soul.

First stop, Motivation Station!

Well, I think you have several options. They're all terrible. But they're options.

Chris: More than one way to skin a cat.
Brad: There's four. Four ways to skin a cat!

Chris: Last year I won an organic gardening contest.
Donna: Who were you competing against?
Chris: My own taste buds.

You're a smart, successful young man with an adorable little belly.

I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.

Ann: What is your spirit animal?
Chris: Jaguar, why do you ask?

I hate to say this, but Ann Perkins has terrible taste in jewelry.

A few months ago the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening toward Bummer-town, but now I'm infected with a deadly virus. And I feel fine!

I guess I'll have to wait for tomorrow's paper to find out our relationship status.

Chris: According to Leslie's binder, her and April are making better time than on a normal day.
Leslie: Oh that's weird with us being women and all. You'd think our boobs would be getting in the way.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron

Leslie: It is nice to see you again.
Ben: Are you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.