Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Claire Dunphy Quotes
Phil: Hey momma bear, you okay?
Claire: Not with momma bear I'm not.
Phil: I'm really sorry for not underestimating Luke enough.
Claire: Well that means a lot to me.
Wait! There's the esteem-building parent right there. Wait! I think I hear future Lily sending us a message from her stripper pole. Thanks gay-dad dads; this dance is for you!
Cameron
Oh what? The mascot's a beaver, those jokes will get old.
Claire [after eating Haley's cupcakes]: Do we still have the number for poison control?
Phil: I love you, Claire, I'll always love you!
Luke: My mouth is asleep like at the dentist.
Claire: Wow pretty cozy with the new housekeeper huh?
Gloria: She's my sister.
Claire: Wow pretty weird with your sister!
Claire: Well hello! How is your first day back in the closet...business?
Mitchell: That makes no sense, I've never worked here before.
Claire: It's just a gay joke Mitchell. Don't over-think it.
Claire: They're really leaving. What do we do?
Phil: What we always do. Leave the porch light on, they'll come back.
I hate it when you do that. You never heard of Troga? You never tried octopus? You never did this amazing thing I just discovered yesterday but I pretend like I've done my whole life?
Women in their 30s on the internet are like ninjas. They get in their little, black outfits and try to sneak their way into your marriage.
I'm just 90% sure he's 100% gay.
Claire: I say no everyday in this house.
Phil: But at night she's a yes machine.
Claire: No.
