Chief Wiggum Quotes
Season 23, Episode 22: "Lisa Goes Gaga"
Wiggum (on Ralphie): Ah he's a dumb kid, but he's an above average dog. Roll over, son!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 16: "A Midsummer's Nice Dream"
Chief Wiggum: Get me a t-shirt - XXL.
Lou: I thought you said XXL was a real wake up call?
Chief Wiggum: That was for pants.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 22, Episode 2: "Loan-A-Lisa"
Chief Wiggum: The minute you go undercover, it's like you don't even know me!
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Chief Wiggum: I bet that looked super cool in slow motion. Too bad we saw it in regular motion.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 22: "The Bob Next Door"
Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there, Switches of Eastwick.
Lou: Switches of Eastwick?
Chief Wiggum: I don't want to censor myself. That's how creativity dies.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 20: "To Surveil With Love"
Chief Wiggum: Now, just follow a little formula called PB & J. Peer at the monitor. Be judgmental. And jot it down. One way to remember that is A-B-C. Always Be Considering PB & J. But the single most important rule is the four As. Always Act According to A-B-C.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Chief Wiggum: You are all that rare combination - prying but not pervy.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 21, Episode 18: "Chief of Hearts"
Chief Wiggum: Who are you, the rules police?
Lou: No, we are the police police.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Chief Wiggum: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Cops don't have a lot of friends. Civilians are afraid of us and other cops just remind of us things we want to forget. That's why your friendship is so special to me.
Homer: Chief, me too.
Snake: Umm, you know I've been back here for like ten hours. Any chance of a bathroom break?
Chief Wiggum: Thanks a lot jail bird. Now I have you on burglary and killing a moment.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Chief Wiggum: Hey, what you packing, Simpson?
Homer: Just my lunch. Chicken parm, meatball parn, eggplant parm, shishka parm, angel hair parm, moo goo gai parm. My wife can parm anything.
Chief Wiggum: My wife only parms on my birthday and that's only if I give her the sad puppy dog look.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 70