The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Chief Wiggum Quotes
(Chief Wiggum takes care of the robot vacuum cleaners gone wild.)
Chief Wiggum: These innocent robots-- (shoots one) --couldn't have done this on their own-- (shoots another) --someone would have to turn them all on at once-- (shoots another) --and then set them on some kind of malevolent sentience.
(Picks one up and examines a switch that reads "On", "Off" and "Malevolent Sentience" with the switch turned to the latter.)
Chief Wiggum: Yep, there it is.
(after getting shot) I always thought I'd die of hepatitis!
(During the hostage situation, Officer Eddie rushes a package to Chief Wiggum)
Chief Wiggum: Finally, the help we need--a DVD of The Negotiator.
(Chief Wiggum places the DVD into a portable DVD player.)
Chief Wiggum: Hmm, hmm. Which chapter should we skip to? "Meet Danny Roman," "Trouble Brewing," "Off the Case," "My Baby's In There," "Enter Niebaum," "Take the Shot," "Sabian's Choice," Check and Mate," "Friends at Last," "Closing Credits"?
Chief Wiggum: You're all under arrest for the murder of Seymour Skinner!
Fat Tony: What's a murder?
Chief Wiggum: Don't play dumb with me!
Can I borrow that ostrich?
Chief Wiggum
Female Golem: There's a latke bar downstairs.
Chief Wiggum: Latke? What the hell's a latke?
Female Golem: They're pan-fried--
Chief Wiggum: Case dismissed!!
(to Fat Tony) I'm not gonna stop until one of us is in jail. (pause) You!
Bart: (Crashes through window) Party's over, Serpent.
Wiggum: No kidding, you're standing in the dip.
Lou: No sign of the Serpent.
Wiggum: It's always work with you.
Chief Wiggum: As you can see, I've gotten everything I ever wanted.
Lou: Except pants that fit.
Chief Wiggum: You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that was hijacked outside of town, would you?
Fat Tony: What's a truck?
Chief Wiggum: Don't play dumb with me!
Chief Wiggum: Get me a t-shirt - XXL.
Lou: I thought you said XXL was a real wake up call?
Chief Wiggum: That was for pants.
