Creed: I still have my medal from that.
Angela: Do you even have a mattress?
Creed: No, but I still have my medal from that.

If my parents see this, I am toast.

The Taliban is the worst...great heroin though.

A wheel wants to spin, Pam.

Robert/Creed: How old?
Creed: Jinx, buy me some coke.

Creed: It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps. You in?
Pam: Yes.
Creed: Cool. Let's keep this on the QT okay? I want you to be a dead mama jama.

A beautiful morning at Dunder Mifflin, or like a like to call it, Great Bratton.

Creed: He put some snacks in the freezer for us.
Pam: You mean the frozen mice for the piranha?
Creed: No, the blueberry slurpy pouch.
Phyllis: He means the ice pack.

Pam: No laughing. No comments. Just positive energy and we'll have a pure fun day. Okay?
Creed: Thanks mom.

Two eyes, two ears, a chine, a mouth, 10 fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Lochness Monster, and the reward for its capture...all the riches in Scotland. So I have one question, why are you her

Erin: I did it. I did a cartwheel.
Creed: F*ck you! F*ck you!

Michael: You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed: My tombstone's already been made, thank you.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 97 in total

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy
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