Two eyes, two ears, a chine, a mouth, 10 fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Lochness Monster, and the reward for its capture...all the riches in Scotland. So I have one question, why are you her

Erin: I did it. I did a cartwheel.
Creed: F*ck you! F*ck you!

Michael: You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed: My tombstone's already been made, thank you.

Pam: So everyone here knows pirate code?
Creed: I understand it, I can't speak it.

Best Edward James Olmos costume I've ever seen...like freaky good.

Creed: Well I really, really, really liked it.
Andy: Well that really bums me out.
Creed: You're welcome.

Plumber: You're the guy who boo'd me.
Michael: Mmm. No. There were a lot of people booing you, I wasn't one of them.
Plumber: Uhh, I saw you. And you were the only one.
Michael: Get your eyes checked chuckle head.
Creed: Be cool Michael, I saw this guy kill a bunch of people.

Everywhere I look it's Betty White this and Betty White that. Finally a kid who's not talking about Betty White. Of course I follow him.

He's been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Now it's funny stuff, but mean.

Displaying quotes 10 - 18 of 97 in total