Favorite Dean Pelton Quotes
I've got Friends with Benefits... no subtext.
Dean Pelton here, wishing you another magic year at Greendale--ranked America's #2 community college by GreendaleCommunityCollege.com.
After you left, it was closed for sentimental reasons. And also asbestos reasons.
This is the biggest PR crisis to hit Greendale since we held that rally protesting the wrong Korea.
Don't tell me what I can't do! What are you, Cosmo's July quiz?
Annie: Creepy.
Dean Pelton: I don't know--add some doilies and a foot bath and this is my mom's house.
Happy last day before winter break. Time to visit our loved ones. Some of you will travel as far as 3 miles! Don't forget to visit our winter wonderland in the quad where were giving away up to six semester of free classes. Wow, what's that sound? Is that the tip tapping of secular boots on on the roof? That must be another sign that it 'tis the season because rumor has it that non-denominational Mr. Winter is on his way to the student lounge.
Dean [about the Environdale Posters]: We need to redo these.
Asst: We printed five thousand.
Dean: Well print five thousand more. I'm trying to save a planet here!
Greendale needs a win. The best compliment our sports program gets is that our basketball team is really gay.
Some people said he hid his money using a portal to another dimension. Those people were on LSD. Everyone else said that he had a secret vault in his office.
Dean: What's it gonna take? A plum park space, free meals, a night of companionship, if you know what I mean?
Jeff: I'll do it for the parking space and if you promise not to tell mean what you mean
