Favorite Dean Pelton Quotes
Everyone wins. Except Abed. But, you know, not everyone can win.
I don't know who told you that pouting was an option with me, but all you're making me feel is a hatred for Renee Zelweggeer.
And to think I let him captain my magic carpet in my dream last night.
I first met Chang when I hired him as a Spanish teacher at Greendale. Then he became a disgraced student, a psychopathic music major, a homeless vent dweller, a security guard, keytarist, power-hungry war lord, and, now, Kevin. It's sad to see him like this. Well, it's mixed. He was pretty terrible before.
Annie maybe you could say something nice about Star Burns, some sugar to go with that spice?
Official: Nobody can sit on something this big.
Dean: IIIII'll sit on it.
Thank you, Pierce Hawthorne, for your special blend of playful racial humor and genuine thoughts on Geraldine Ferraro.
Pierce Hawthorne has taken 80% of Greendale's classes twice. He is the only Greendale student who has ever paid for a premium locker or the extended pencil warranty.
Dean: The perfect mix of low intellect, limited ambition, and limitless parental support.
Jeff: So, a rich dum-dum who will never graduate and keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.
This awkward silence has been going on for days! Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods, but this has got to stop!
Shirley: Is this a bad time?
Dean Pelton (speaking as Jeff): I'm at Greendale, stuck in the body of a man who could be Gollum, so yeah, I'd say it's half past suck.
Jeff: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails.
Dean Pelton: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!
