Dennis: Real women don't even look like that.
Dee: Hey, guys!
Dennis: That (*points to Dee*) is what real women look like.
Mac: Dee, are you sick?
Dee: No! I feel great. I haven't been able to shower in a couple days. I've been gaming like a loon.

Bill: Oh, so you've looked over the proposal?
Dee [as Prudence, in a horrible Canadian accent]: Yah, i sure did and I
tell you what - I seen better lookin' moose turds in Rick Moranis'
backyard, ya hosers.

Frank: You're losing your mind. You're being scammed.
Dee: I'm losing my mind? How many pairs of shoes have you lost this month, Frank?
Frank: (looks down, sees his own bare feet) Three... four!

Bill Ponderosa: Dee's Nuts! What's the haps? Take a sip (offers glass of milk) straight from the cow's titty!
Dee: No, I gotta get outta here. Everyone's going crazy.
Bill Ponderosa: No, no. The party's just startin'. You gotta have some. Come on, try it. It'll loosen you up a bit. Make your butthole hot!

Frank: (to Liam) I understand the McPoyle bloodline is very strong.
Liam: Legions of us, thousands sturdy, once ruled this fine land. Our bloodline was as pure as the driven snow.
Dee: Then what happened?
Liam: Syphilis killed about half of us.

Frank: (*after a bat bites him*) I just got tagged by a bat! I got tagged! Suck out the poison, Dee! I'll give you $200 if you suck it out.
(*Dee sucks on Frank's head*)
Frank: Suck it harder!
Mac: Did you swallow it?!
Dee: Yeah, I swallowed it.
Mac: Make yourself throw up!
Charlie: You swallowed the poison!
Dennis: Bats don't have poison!

Frank: We take you to a titty bar and you say no to us. We bring you
to this place with all these juicy dongs and you shut us down. What
team are you playing for?
Dee: Hold on a second, Frank. I think I know what's going on here.
This man has been realigned. He's a 'yestergay'.
Frank: What's a 'yestergay'?
Dee: A lot of gay men bounce around from label to label never finding
their proper gay home. My hunch is that this gentleman has gone from a
twink to a twunk to a twank.
Frank: What's a twunk?
Dee: Twink and a hunk. A Twink with muscles but still hairless.
Frank: So smooth.
Dee: Oh, incredibly smooth. A twank on the other hand, that's no good.
That's a twink and a skank. Essentially a rag doll that's been tossed
around from twink to twunk to bear to otter.
Frank: Wait, wait, wait a minute. What's an otter?
Dee; Subsection of bear. Still hairy but whereas a bear generates his
power through sheer mass alone, the otter generates his power through
extraordinary quickness, cunning, and skill.

Dee [re: the lawyer]: Wow, what an asshole.
Dennis: You are killing a man, you know that, right?
Doctor: There's a lot of mercy in this decision. I commend it.
Dennis: Technically, we gave the order to him to give to you.
Dee: Yeah, if you feel like commending, if you're in the mood for commending...
Dennis: If you're going to throw some commendations around...

Frank [upside down in a trunk]: It's a goddamn booby trap!
Dee: It's not a booby trap, Frank. It's an empty trunk and you fell
into like a Weeble Wobble.

Dee: Are you saying that we have to decide whether or not that old
Nazi bitch lives or dies?
Lawyer: There's that charm.

I'm feeling very very lucky to have my asshole ripped in half like tissue paper by my father and his very good friends.

I'm the queen of the night.