Frank: We take you to a titty bar and you say no to us. We bring you
to this place with all these juicy dongs and you shut us down. What
team are you playing for?
Dee: Hold on a second, Frank. I think I know what's going on here.
This man has been realigned. He's a 'yestergay'.
Frank: What's a 'yestergay'?
Dee: A lot of gay men bounce around from label to label never finding
their proper gay home. My hunch is that this gentleman has gone from a
twink to a twunk to a twank.
Frank: What's a twunk?
Dee: Twink and a hunk. A Twink with muscles but still hairless.
Frank: So smooth.
Dee: Oh, incredibly smooth. A twank on the other hand, that's no good.
That's a twink and a skank. Essentially a rag doll that's been tossed
around from twink to twunk to bear to otter.
Frank: Wait, wait, wait a minute. What's an otter?
Dee; Subsection of bear. Still hairy but whereas a bear generates his
power through sheer mass alone, the otter generates his power through
extraordinary quickness, cunning, and skill.

Dee [re: the lawyer]: Wow, what an asshole.
Dennis: You are killing a man, you know that, right?
Doctor: There's a lot of mercy in this decision. I commend it.
Dennis: Technically, we gave the order to him to give to you.
Dee: Yeah, if you feel like commending, if you're in the mood for commending...
Dennis: If you're going to throw some commendations around...

Frank [upside down in a trunk]: It's a goddamn booby trap!
Dee: It's not a booby trap, Frank. It's an empty trunk and you fell
into like a Weeble Wobble.

Dee: Are you saying that we have to decide whether or not that old
Nazi bitch lives or dies?
Lawyer: There's that charm.

I'm feeling very very lucky to have my asshole ripped in half like tissue paper by my father and his very good friends.

I'm the queen of the night.

For some reason homophobia is awesome to these guys.

Looks like the Rat got too much cheese.

Adriano [to Mac]

He called you dirt grub and made you eat spiders.

Dee [to Charlie]

Dee: Baby got back.
Dennis: Sir Mix-A-Lot was not talking about women whose backs have recovered from horrific spinal disorders.

Your big fat body's what's disgusting.

Dee [to Mac]

I hear the guy hangs dong and I'm very interested in seeing that.

It's Always Sunny Quotes

Charlie: I'll totally pull a Good Will Hunting on those kids and that'll put them in their place.
Mac: How you gonna do that?
Charlie: Well, you've seen the movie right?
Mac: Yeah.
Charlie: So all I gotta do is, I'll ask them some big shot, like math or science, history-type college question aand that will totally stump them by knowing a lot more about the answer than they do.
Mac: In that movie, Matt Damon played a genius janitor, you're just a janitor.
Charlie: Right, you stumped me with that one.

Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.