It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Dennis Reynolds Quotes
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic.
Charlie: Read the script once.
Dennis: Okay, you want me to read the script?
Charlie: Yes.
Dennis: All right.
Charlie: And... action
Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello, fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot..." What? "Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do, Philadelphia, so do."
Mac: We are getting blasted in the ass by the state liquor tax.
Dee: Blasted in the ass?
Dennis: Mac, we have the same conversation every year. There's nothing you can do about taxes.
Dee: Uh, you guys might want to think about voting every once in a while.
Dennis: Am I supposed to vote for the Democrat who's going to blast me in the a** or the Republican who's blasting my a**?
Mac: See politics is all just one big a**-blast.
Dennis: It's a coast to coast,...
Charlie: You're going to get you're a**-blasted.
Dennis: ...nationwide a**-blasting.
Dennis: What's the note say?
Charlie: All right, yeah. All right, uh, "meet." It starts out "meet" and then there's, like, other stuff.
Dennis: "Meet me in the parking garage, Frank."
Charlie: Yeah?
Dennis: Yeah. You clearly have a learning disability, dude.
Dee: I am not a failure!
Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?
Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.
Mac: This is why people flock to places like Las Vegas and New Orleans and spring break. Because they're free to go wild. The girls go wild. The girls in Philly need a place to go wild.
Dennis: Yeah, right. I mean New Orleans was washed away in that terrible, terrible storm. We need to open up Paddy's as a haven for freedom.
Mac: Yes.
Dennis: A replacement for the tragic loss of New Orleans.
Charlie: I am done with rat detail. That's by far the worst job in the bar.
Dennis: Well, that's why we call it Charlie work.
Dennis: Failure implies that she actually tried to be an actor.
Dee: Okay, I did try. It just didn't happen to work out.
Frank: It's not your fault, sweetie. You're just not pretty enough.
Dee: Oh, thank you. That's my dad, everybody.
Mac: Oh, man, New Orleans really had their s**t figured out!
Dennis: Oh, they totally had their s**t figured out! Except for the levees.
Mac: Right, yeah, except for the levees.
Mac: Well, maybe it boils down to this smart guy: computers are for losers.
Dennis: You're drinking a beer at eight o'clock in the morning!
Mac: Whatever dude. Irrelevant.
Dennis: I am having feelings again. Like some kind of fourteen year old kid. You remember, feelings right?
Mac: Yeah. I have feelings every single day of my life.
Dennis: Do you?
Mac: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Dennis: What I'm saying is a built up a shell.. a shell around myself. A cold, calculated shell that couldn't be broken by anything but marriage.
Dee: Who slams a door?
Frank: Babies.
Dennis: That guy has some real growing up to do. Have some repect for Christ's sake... I am legend.
