I guess anyone who breaks up over text messages isn't the "One".

It's Divya!

You young man are a good kisser.

I missed you guys - I even missed staff meetings.

Are you spying on me?

Parents think they know the best.

There's no way he's a super anything.

Divya: I have to move to London.
Evan: Of course you do and when we replace you with another sexy Indian PA it won't be the same.
Divya: I appreciate that.

Divya: It's personal.
Evan: With you personal means trouble so..
Divya: No, personal means personal.

Jill: I don't want to be a downer, but they're not going to let us in there.
Divya: Why not?
Jill: Because we are dressed like mothers.

Divya: What is that? POE?
Hank: Property of Evan -
Jill: No, I was thinking someone else.

Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan