Evan: Your mom is actually here.
Divya: Why wouldn't she be?
Evan: Because it's my birthday....

Nothing grandiose about that...

Whoever this is, this baby, is making me better. Challenging me.

Just be prepared and be the best candidate. Or at least be prepared.

Divya: Podia, from the Latin.
Evan: Podiums, from the Office Depot.

Divya: You are the underdog.
Evan: That's not good, Divya.

It's the perfect little nest.

I think I made a mistake, a very big mistake.

I am a nightmare of a guest.

I am not ten! You cannot send me out to play!


You're not going to be able to take care of your dogs you can't take care of yourself.

Divya: We didn't check any bags...
Jeremiah: I'm leaving tonight...

Royal Pains Quotes

Hey Donna - she's hot!


Hank: What's going on?
Jill: They're filming a realty TV show. Apparently all you need is a camera and people with no shame.