NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSDr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard Quotes
Tony: Do I seem okay to you?
Ducky: Markedly better than the last occupant of that table.
Palmer: Speaking of shaking things up, Brina and I, we're having a baby.
Ducky: My dear Jimmy! Such news shouldn't be delivered as an aside. How long have you known? When is the baby due?
Palmer: Brina's not "due" due. We're on a waiting list. We decided to adopt. We figured there were so many unwanted kids out there that we'd adopt first.
Ducky: Bravo Mr. Palmer! Such a decision is admirable and positively thrilling.
Palmer: This guy's had more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers and Cher combined.
Ducky: That is an inappropriate remark Mr. Palmer, however accurate.
The Romans believed that one should wear the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand. Yes, because a vein in that finger runs straight to the heart. Vena amoris. Literally the vein of love.
Palmer: No, you know what? I take it back. It is not okay. I appreciate you throwing me a bone once in a while, or in this case a finger but it's not enough. I want to step up in all aspects of my career. And I will not let you send me on my way because you think something is...what...beyond my reach? It's not beyond my reach. I can help. I want to help. I want you to teach me that.
Ducky: Are you through?
Palmer: I believe so, yes.
Ducky: Then pull up a stool.
Ducky: I expected to find the entire sidewall blown out, given the explosive decompression we just experienced.
Palmer: My stomach is experiencing explosive decompression.
Anything I find won't be useful to anybody if we all die from airborne corpse pathogens. A dead body can be deadly.
Careful, Mr. Palmer. Gastric acid can cut a hole right through your foot.
Palmer: Doctor. Doctor. In case your plan, as brilliant as it is, doesn't work....
Ducky: Likewise, Mr....Jimmy.
Palmer: I would rather take a stand than get shot in the back.
Ducky: Likewise.
Palmer: Oh my God.
Ducky: What?
Palmer: I just realized that I missed my nine-month wedding anniversary. Breena's going to kill me.
Ducky: You do know I have a heart condition.
Gibbs: He's all alone, Duck.
Ducky: Yes well death will have that effect.
Gibbs: I'm not talking about him. I'm talking about Director Vance.
Ducky: He needs time, Jethro. You know that better than anyone.
Gibbs: The hardest part is after.
Ducky: And you worry he may get stuck there, in the after.
Gibbs: I worry he'll get stuck, period.
