I'm dead. How do you want to spend your last five months?

House [to Wilson]

Is this hell? An eternity of people trying to convince me to live?

House: He's happy.
Amber: He's dead.

I know you'll do the honest thing. You'll lie.

Foreman: You're stealing this guy's oxygen!
House: There's oxygen everywhere.

I can't even get stoned without some annoying jerk thinking I need to be analyzed.

From what I hear, nothing black is tiny. Except your penis.

House [to Foreman]

I think it's time to accept you're smarter than me.

House (to Wilson)

Taub: You know he just doesn't want to live in pain.
House: Life is pain! I wake up every morning in pain! Work is pain! You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?

Wilson: Just dinner?
House: That depends on how much you have to drink.

Adams: He just wants to die with a little dignity.
House: There's no such thing.

I need to turn Wilson from a terminal idiot to an interminable pain in the ass.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 552 in total

Want more House?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

House Quotes

Do you know what bisexual means? It doesn't mean you have sex with two people at once.

Thirteen

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House
x Close Ad