This is why I don't answer your urgent patients. Because they aren't urgent patients.

House: I'll have whatever he's buying.
Dr. Wilson: Two cheeseburgers and two large fries.

We can't even argue on my schedule.

Hello? Uh... I don't know what department I want. Uh, I need... pants.

Dr. Wilson

Dr. Wilson: That was my paper. You don't ask what I want, you ignore my wishes, you drug me.
House: I'm waiting for you to name something new to our relationship.

Dr. Wilson: Yes, you can sit her running up my hotel bill, or you can go get the woman of your dreams.
House: I didn't know Angela Merkel was attending the conference.

Dr. Wilson: If there's one thing I've learned from you, it's that I should do what I think is right and not worry about the consequences.
House: Yeah, it's worked out great for me.

House: You didn't tell me you were giving a paper.
Dr. Wilson: And that is wrong?
House: Last time you presented a paper, you gave me an advance paper and asked for feedback.
Dr. Wilson: And you're wondering why I wouldn't want to repeat that experience?

House: I just dozed off in front of the TV.
Wilson: With bedding?
House: Maybe!

Thirteen: Thanks.
Dr. Wilson: You're welcome. For what?
Thirteen: For thinking I was worth breaking the law to keep around.
Dr. Wilson: That's just the way I am. But still don't now what you're talking about.

It's easy to be nice to people you like. Being nice to people you hate, that's a skill.

Wilson: Did you even go to bed last night?
House: Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex. In which case.. no, bed is still for sissies.

House Quotes

Dr. Cameron: House doesn't believe in pretense. Figures life's too short and too painful. So he just says that he thinks.
Dr. Foreman: "I say what I think" is just another way of saying "I'm an assho"...

(about House) The son of a bitch is the best doctor we have.

Dr. Cuddy