Dr. Lisa Cuddy Quotes
Dr. Cuddy: It's not cancer.
Patient: It's not gonna kill me?
Dr. Cuddy: It's hemorrhoids.
Dr. Wilson: Come on. You know how good you have it here.
House: Yes, I'm the big poobah, the big cheese, the go-to guy.
Edward Vogler: I want to run this place like a business.
Dr. Cuddy: What, you want to put more vending machines in the hallway? Maybe a roulette wheel?
Dr. Cuddy: I'll give you a week off clinic duty if you can go a week off narcotics.
House: No way! I love the clinic.
Dr. Cuddy: You love the pills. Two weeks.
House: Pills don't make me high. They make me neutral.
Dr. Cuddy: A month.
House: You're on, mister.
Dr. Cuddy: It's not just your leg. You wanna get high. You're doing, what, 80 milligrams a day?
House: No. That's way too much. Moderation is the key. Unless there's pain.
Dr. Cuddy: It's double what you were taking when I hired you.
House: 'Cause you're twice as annoying.
Dr. Wilson: You don't walk out of a room with ten milligrams of Haldol in your system, you don't walk at all.
Dr. Foreman: It was ten milligrams, I gave it to her...
Dr. Cuddy: It doesn't matter! Bacterial meningitis, highly contagious, if she is out of the hospital, we are so liable.
Dr. Wilson: Not to worry. She'll be dead before she can kill anybody.
When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done... Trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you I also set aside $50,000 a year for legal expenses. So far you've come in under budget.
Dr. Cuddy
It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath?? What, do the complications increase exponentially with cup size?
House: Love the outfit. It says "I'm a professional, but I'm still a woman." Actually, it sort of yells the second part.
Dr. Cuddy: Yeah, and your big cane is real subtle too.
House: Ooh, girl in the boys' bathroom. Very dramatic. Must be very important what you have to say to me.
Dr. Cuddy: Yesterday your patient's tumor was 5.8 centimeters. Today it's 4.6. How did that happen?
House: At a guess, I'd say "Dr. House must be really really good, why am I wasting him on hiccups?"
Dr. Cuddy: You also requisitioned 20cc of ethanol, what patient was that for? Or are you planning a party?
House: We have an epidemic!
Dr. Cuddy: Two sick babies is very sad, but it doesn't prove an epidemic.
House: How many do?
Dr. Cuddy: And is there a paternity bet on the father of the patient?
House: Doesn't sound like me.
Dr. Wilson: Well, it does, actually, but doesn't mean you're guilty.
