Dr. Zoidberg Quotes
Bender: My tummy hurts and I've been having this burning electrical discharge.
Zoidberg: Hmm. Don't worry, you'll be fine. Oh boy. (quietly) I didn't have the heart to tell him: It's fin fungus. He'll be floating upside-down by morning.
Fry: Now just read these cue cards... And action!
Farnsworth: Miss McNeal, I'm afraid I must decline your offer of marriage. For, you see, I'm dying. Cough, then fall over dead.
Zoidberg: My God, he's dead.
Farnsworth checks his pulse
Fry: Y'know, I saw the first 30 seconds of that episode. If I could make up an ending, maybe we could act it out ourselves.
Zoidberg: I could make the costumes.
Farnsworth: I have an old five-megawatt broadcasting tower in the attic.
Bender: And I, I could be an acting coach!
Leela: Oh, god... Not Zapp Brannigan.
Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we crossed paths...
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?
Leela: If this helps Bender clean up his act then I think we should be supportive.
Farnsworth: Yes.
Amy: Oh, yeah.
Hermes: Oh, yes!
Zoidberg: Oh, yeah.
Bender: Wonderful. Then you'll all come to my exceedingly long, un-air-conditioned baptism ceremony!
Leela: Bender, we didn't mind your drinking, or your kleptomania, or your pornography ring.
Zoidberg: In fact, that's why we loved you.
Hermes: And as a further cost-cutting measure, I have eliminated the salt-water cooler.
Zoidberg: This is a witch hunt!
Zoidberg: Let's face it! We're in hot butter here!
Bender: Cram it lobster!
Zoidberg: Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in a high-speed centrifuge, separating out the denser fluid of His Highness.
Fry: But won't that crush my bones?
Zoidberg: Oh, right, right, with the bones! I always forget about the bones.
Fry: That's the saltiest thing I've ever tasted. And I once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!
Bender: Oh, come on! That food was fine! The salt content was 10% less than a lethal dose!
Zoidberg: Uh oh. I shouldn't have had seconds.
Amy: I don't think you have anything to worry about. These people seem really mild-mannered.
Zoidberg: They are mild. In fact, you're soaking in one right now.
(Amy screams and takes her finger out of the glass. Gorgak appears from it)
Gorgak: You touched me in ways I've never been touched before.
Merg: Ah, there you are, Your Majesty. It's time to begin preparing for tomorrow's coronation ceremony.
Zoidberg: A fancy dress gala! I'll wear my formal shell.
