Popular Edie Britt Quotes
I hate Susan Mayer. Everytime I see those big doe eyes of hers, I swear to God I just want to go out and shoot a deer
Paul: Look, I just want to move this place fast. I'll do whatever we have to do.
Edie: Well, that's good to know. You do realize that you're going to have to disclose the fact that your wife killed herself in the house.
Paul: I am?
Edie: Oh, yeah. Legal crap. You know, people get really freaked out by suicides. You can't blame them. Hell, I get the willies just standing here.
Paul: Is there any way to get around it?
Edie: Off the record? You could say that she shot herself in the living room, and then crawled out back to die
Edie: Hey, how was your big date?
Susan: Mike had to reschedule.
Edie: Oh. Because of the hot girl? With the suitcase? Over there? Gosh how devastating for you
Edie: For the record, I was rooting for you to land him.
Susan: And why would you root for me?
Edie: Well, I figured it would be easier for me to steal Mike from you than her - she seems like fun!
Edie: I want my money.
Martha: And I want those non-fat peach yogurts. They didn't just walk out of that fridge by themselves.
Edie: Well you can deduct it from the $40 that you're going to give me, now!
Martha: You're my best friend. Why would I steal from you?
Edie: It's no secret that you've been having financial problems. I hear you bitching on the phone to your bank.
Martha: That's it! I can put up with your debauchery and your food theft, but I will not tolerate spying. I want you out.
Edie: You don't mean that.
Martha: Oh, yes I do. I'm leaving tomorrow to visit my sister for a few days. I want you gone by the time I get back.
Edie: I'll do one better. I will leave today
Martha: What are you doing?
Edie: I am taking back the $40 that you stole out of my purse.
Martha: Edie!
Edie: We both know you did it, now hand it over!
Martha: I have taken nothing from your purse, and if you're missing money, I'd ask one of those strange men you parade through here at all hours.
Edie: I am not going to apologize for having a healthy sex life!
Martha: Healthy? I'm going to have to burn every sheet you've touched
Gabrielle: Edie, what did you do to that dress?
Edie: Well, I made it audience friendly. Can you tell I'm not wearing any underwear?
Gabrielle: Yes!
Edie: Good
Edie: Crap! Crap! Crap! I'm telling you, all of the good dresses are taken. Well, what the hell am I supposed to wear?
Lynette: Well, Mrs. Huber never showed up. Why don't you wear this one?
Edie: This is an old lady dress. You won't even be able to see my body.
Lynette: That is so like you, Edie. You're always thinking of others
Edie: You know, I can only imagine how worried you must be.
Felicia: I'm not worried, Edie. Martha and I had a very intense bond. We were connected at the most primal level, and a few days ago, I felt this sensation in my soul. That's when it first dawned on me that something had happened to my sister. And when she didn't arrive at my home as scheduled, well, that's when I knew she was dead.
Edie: Oh, honey, no! You mustn't think like that! Martha's only missing!
Felicia: No, Edie, she's dead. But she's my sister, and I'm going to find out exactly what happened to her.
Edie: Look, Felicia, it's natural to freak out when a loved one is missing.
Felicia: Loved one? Oh, Edie, let me be clear about this. I hated Martha. She was a wretched pig of a woman and the day she died, this world became a better place
Edie: I'm not talking about Martha. I'm grateful to you.
Susan: Me?
Edie: Yeah, I've been such a bitch to you over the years, and here you are, rowing me out to dump her ashes.
Susan: Well, it's, it's really no, no big deal.
Edie: Yes, it is. You stepped up when nobody else would. And here I am, thinking you have an ulterior motive. God, Susan, you're such a good person. And I'm such a bitch!
Susan: Well, Edie, you're not that bad, and, and, and believe me, I'm, I'm not that good.
Edie: Oh, yes you are.
Susan: Oh, please don't do this.
Edie: Martha may be gone, but the good Lord above has shown me that I'm not alone
So, what are we looking for, exactly? An embroidered pillow that says "I killed Martha Huber?"
Oh God, look at all these things, all these beautiful things that my ex-husbands worked so hard for, burnt to a crisp
