The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite Edna Krabappel Quotes
Bart: Boys and girls, Mrs. Krabappel, I come before you today to solve a riddle that has plagued mankind for centuries: What has four legs and ticks?
Milhouse: A walking clock?
Nelson: A walking clock!
Martin: I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!
Edna: Bart, is it a walking clock?
Bart: What?.....No, it's my dog.
Edna Krabappel: Bart has been guilty of the following atrocities: synthesizing a laxative from peas and carrots, replacing my birth control with Tic Tacs...
Bart: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-up Book" is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!
Edna: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
Bart: Well, most of it.
Nelson: The ingredients were: fresh pureed tomatoes, water, salt, and sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage. Once again, if I'm not mistaken, this can contained tomato paste.
Edna: Thank you, Nelson. I look forward to seeing it again next week.
Now, I don't want you to worry class. These tests will have no affect on your grades. They merely determine your future social status and financial success. If any.
Mrs. Krabappel
Principal Skinner: Some sick individual has stolen every "Teacher's Edition!"
Teacher: What do we do?
Mrs. Krabappel: Declare a snow day!
Teacher #2: Does anyone know the multiplication table?
Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you'd never even imagined. Others may find out life isn't fair, in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!
Edna: We're going to take a test.
Class: (sighs)
Hoover: We're going to take a test.
Lisa: All right, a test!
Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man half-apelike creature?
Edna: I'm sorry, that would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod! I want my monkey-man!
Edna: We have shirts from other high schools.
Marge: Ooh, we can wear those to the nice malls.
Samantha: All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that you're all probably used to...but I'm not.
Edna: It'll take you about six weeks, dear.
Well, class the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond with Bart's answers on yesterday's test. America was now discovered in 1942 by... ''some guy.'' And our country isn't called America any more. It's Bonerland.
Mrs. Krabappel
