Gabrielle Solis Quotes
Carlos: Damn it!
Gabrielle: Whatever it is, I can explain.
Gabrielle: Hey, cut her some slack. She's Romanian, okay? When your people are being chased into Argentina by angry cossacks, maybe a sparkling toilet isn't that important.
Carlos: Argentina? How about you stick to fractions, and I'll teach Juanita geography? Goodbye.
I'm been home-schooling my daughter and it's been a living Hell, so I tried to bribe someone to get her into Catholic school.
Laura: You're pretty cavalier considering your carelessness almost killed my daughter.
Gabrielle: I gotta say, Laura, you're kind of a wet blanket since you quit smoking. Why don't you try a pipe?
Lynette: (holding a worldmap) There you go, Gaby. It's kinda old. It's from before the Soviet Union broke up.
Gabrielle: The Soviet Union broke up?
Tom: You sure you know what you're doing with this homeschooling thing?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey, Juanita's in first grade. She'll believe what I tell her.
Gabrielle: Let me tell you something, Mrs. Peterson. I am pulling Juanita out of this crappy, crappy school! Come on, Carlos!
Mrs. Peterson: Crappy, huh? What a shame Juanita won't be here to blurt that out during the Pledge of Allegiance!
Gabrielle: Oh, yeah? Well, here's a blurt for ya: (@!#$%^&*!?) ... and the horse you rode in on!
Ana: I love him. Did you hear me? I said I love him.
Gabrielle: I heard you, I was swallowing vomit.
Gabrielle: Are you sleeping with John Rowland?
Ana: He's my boss.
Gabrielle: And the oscar goes to... Not you!
Gabrielle: Ana bought condoms in what looked like a valu-Pack.
John: Wow. I had no idea she was that serious. I mean, I was only flirting with her... a little.
Gabrielle: Well, she's 17, so you're also flirting with on orange jumpsuit.
Laura, you're kind of a wet blanket since you quit smoking. Why don't you try a pipe?
Carlos: Gaby, thank God you're doing this. Beating up a second gay guy? It looks bad.
Gabrielle: Yes. Well, Carlos, in some circles, beating people up at all is frowned upon.
Carlos: So why'd you change your mind?
Gabrielle: Well, I'm about to be the mother of your child, which means a lot of responsibility and little time for myself. So if I'm gonna get you out of this mess, you have to reciprocate.
Carlos: Okay.
Gabrielle: When the baby cries in the middle of the night, you're gonna get up without saying one word. Doctors' appointments: you're driving. I'm not putting a car seat in my Maserati. And you will also be on bottle duty. That means washing, sterilizing, and filling. That way I'll have some semblance of a life, and then maybe I won't hate you so much
Carlos: What about the baby, Gabrielle, huh? What about my baby?
Gabrielle: Oh, your baby?
Carlos: Fine. Our baby. Hey, we're a family now. This baby needs its mother and its father.
Gabrielle: Oh, Carlos. Whoever said you were the father?
