Gabrielle Solis Quotes
Gabrielle: You see, your health insurance sent us a letter because someone ordered a year's worth of birth control pills, and apparently our policy doesn't cover drugs bought by the kilo.
Carlos: I told you, it was mama.
Gabrielle: The prescription was dated, Carlos, and Juanita was in a coma when this claim was filed. You did this, not your mother. At least be man enough to own up to it. She would've been
John: I should've wore a condom.
Gabrielle: Yeah, that would've helped
Carlos: Before the accident I told her how much I wanted a child and she said that she would take care of it. I just thought that she would talk to you. Baby, I am so sorry.
Gabrielle: That bitch! I can't believe her.
Carlos: I loved her, but even I had issues sometimes. I mean she could be very controlling.
Gabrielle: Reaching out from the grave to screw with me. God, she's good!
Carlos: Where are you going?
Gabrielle: I feel a wave of morning sickness coming on, and I want to be standing on your mother's grave when it hits
Carlos: You've been paying more attention to your food than you have to me lately.
Gabrielle: I plan on getting really fat as a tribute to your mother
I'd be an awful mother, I'm selfish and I'm self-centered, and only person more self-centered than me is Carlos, I mean, he's so self-centered that he doesn't even know how self-centered I am
Father Crowley: You're pregnant?
Gabrielle: Yes and it's impossible. I'm on the pill which I know you probably think is a sin but it's a 99.9 per cent effective sin.
Father Crowley: Maybe it's in the 1 per cent that God resides.
Gabrielle: You just couldn't wait to throw that in, could you?
Carlos cut up all my credit cards. I'm married and I can't shop which is the worst of all possible worlds
Gabrielle: If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you.
Carlos: If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you.
Gabrielle: Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex?
John: What about me? Can't I be your plan B?
Gabrielle: Damn it, John. What is our new rule?
John: Stop pretending we have a future.
Gabrielle: Thank you
Gabrielle: I don't need your credit cards, Carlos, and I don't need your money, but if our marriage is gonna work, I need your respect.
Carlos: I'm not ripping up the post-nup.
Gabrielle: Yes, you are. Because if you don't, I'm gonna put on my new shoes and walk out the door.
Carlos: You're threatening me?
Gabrielle: No, I'm just pointing something out. I'm a pretty girl, and pretty girls are never lonely
Gabrielle: Look, you really want to get back at him? Then kiss me.
John: How's that going to help?
Gabrielle: Because one day, when the time is right, I'm gonna tell him how he drove me right into your arms. And that's gonna kill him. And tonight, just whatever you do, don't call me beautiful.
