Mitch: Allison just gave you her most precious gift
Gary: Her gift was a lot more precious two kids ago
Allison: Yeah? You still unwrapped it like a drunk monkey

Gary: There goes another satistifed customer from gary's house of love. over five served
Mitch: You got nothing
Gary: I got nothing. How did you know?
Mitch: I'm a marine. I can hear enemy scouts sneaking into a foxhole from two hundred yards away. Last night? I didn't hear that

I don't want you fooling with the margins this time around, your last report looked like a grocery list

Jack: Why can't I remember anything?
Gary: Lots of reasons dad. Ounces and ounces of reasons

What do you say, Kim? Let's get out there and settle this with our balls

Dad: What about Allison?
Gary: Dad, the only time I ever want to hear that sentences is if we're on a life raft and someone has to go

Lindsay: Why are you whispering?
Gary: I'm at the opera
Lindsay: Are you painting it?

Dennis: Why don't you go over to Ms. Plummer's?
Gary: I can't, she has cats
Dennis: What's wrong with cats?
Gary: I can't get naked in front of cats, they bat at things that dangle

Random Guy: Excuse me, other people are waiting here
Gary: Yeah, but they're keeping it to themselves
Dennis: Burned!

Ms Plummer: Sometimes the anticipation of the event is more exciting than the even itself
Gary: So my reputation as a lovemaker precedes me

Why does Louise have to learn Chinese? When the Chinese take over the world they're going to teach it to us for free in their re-education camps

Gary: When are you gonna take time to be a kid
Louise: In my late 30's like you
Gary: I'd ground you for that, but then I wouldn't have anyone to play with

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 34 in total

Gary Unmarried Quotes

Louise: Thank you dad, you restored my faith in men
Allison: What'd he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

x Close Ad