Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

Excuse me, how much is that doggie in the window?

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

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