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Modern-family

Manny: When you first started dating him, what was his nickname for you?
Gloria: Sexy pants.
Manny: Ew. The other one?
Gloria: Bunny.

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A lot of people assumed that I married you for your money and that’s only a very, very small part of it. I married you because you’re sexy. You still are. Who knows how long that’s going to last for either of us?

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Gloria: I don't eat anything unless I know what's in it.
Jay: I've once seen this woman scarf down a pig's nose.

Excuse me, how much is that doggie in the window?

Gloria: This is fun for me. You're my stepdaughter.
Claire: I'm older than you.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 139 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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