Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Sisters before misters!

Hello Houstons? We have a situation.

You didn’t seem to care when you were eating all his practice cake.

I don't like another woman in my house. I want to be the star.

I remember something nice you did. You bought me this dress yesterday when you were working.

Jay: I won't be able to hear her, she won't be able to see me.
Gloria: Well be together forever!

Gloria (whispers): It's the curse.
Jay: Not that I ever want to discourage you from whispering, but that's not a thing.

He was up at 5 in the morning ironing, but he also does that when he's depressed so I don't know.

I know how it works. I rented the wrong movie once. Did you see Glenn Gary Glenn and Ross?

Oh so now it's snooping, wanting to know more about your family by looking through their personal things?

Gloria: He's a lying, scheming little sneak. That's my son.
Jay: Our son.

I can't lie to that face. It's a good thing we're not married.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 143 in total