Jay: I had botox.
Gloria: Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?

• Permalink: I had botox. Like the ladies use for their wrinkles?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria [about Manny]: It's good, he keeps us grounded
Jay: Like a fog at a airport

• Permalink: It's good, he keeps us grounded Like a fog at a airport
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.

• Permalink: I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

• Permalink: What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

It sended! Please come back!

• Permalink: It sended! Please come back!
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

I'm Columbian, I know a fake crime scene when I see one.

• Permalink: I'm Columbian, I know a fake crime scene when I see one.
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Manny: I wanna be home-schooled.
Gloria: Really Manny? You want me to learn you English?

• Permalink: I wanna be home-schooled. Really Manny? You want me to learn y...
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

• Permalink: Nobody calls him grandpa! I do?
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.

• Permalink: I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.
• Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

In Colombia, you can't go to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.

• Permalink: In Colombia, you can't go to the hospital for every little sniff...
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!

• Permalink: But I'm nice and I put on the sugar jacket!
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Gloria: I have a small flower on my ankle, and a tiny, little butterfly on my....thigh.
Alex: How high up?
Gloria: Very high.
Alex: Did you do it to look sexy, no, did you do it for a guy? Does grandpa like it?
Gloria: No, no, and yes

• Permalink: I have a small flower on my ankle, and a tiny, little butterfly ...
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0