Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Gloria Delgado-Pritchett Quotes
Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me
What do you mean she blossomed? Like the puberty?
That doesn't make any sense! Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world filled with little poh-pees.
It's hard to sleep in a bed of lies, isn't it, Jay?
I am the second wife Jay, why do you treat me like I'm the first?
I know you can't tell by looking at me, but I'm not a natural homemaker.
Gloria: He thinks he might be allergic to Stella.
Jay: What? The only reaction this dog gives people is the giggles.
Jay: This behavior of yours is not gonna fly when you lose your looks.
Gloria: Awww, you'll be long gone by then.
I thought one of the advantages of marrying an older guy was that I was going to be able to relax. But all of this swimming and running and rowing, it's just like how some of my relatives got into this country!
Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!
Oh, here we go, because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street! Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
This is not art. This is an unholy mix between man and beast.
